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From the Desk of your Grumpy Dev: Cleaning Up After a One-Man Wrecking Crew


From the Desk of your Grumpy Dev: Cleaning Up After a One-Man Wrecking Crew


Let me paint you a picture.

You're sipping your Diet Coke, checking the backlog, when your PM drops "a small ColdFusion migration project" into your Slack channel. You think, Sure, I’ve been burned before, but how bad could it be?

Then you open the codebase.

And you scream internally.

Welcome to my week.

The Wild West of Web Development

This “application” we’re taking over? It was built by a one-man shop who clearly thought “best practices” were just suggestions, like turn signals in a Walmart parking lot.

  • No framework. Not even a whisper of one. Just raw .cfm files sprayed everywhere like digital graffiti.

  • Unhashed passwords. Yes, in 2025. Plain. Text. Passwords. Sitting there like an open diary in a high school hallway.

  • Zero change management. No version control, no documented deployment process. Just vibes and FTP.

  • Spaghetti logic. Hundreds of lines inside a single function doing ten unrelated things, with variables named like a, b, and theThing. I really love it when the developer uses their name somewhere in the code… Not even kidding.

  • No budget tracking or time estimates. The client was promised the moon with no calendar in sight.

You Break It, We Buy It (and Fix It)

Now it's on us—our firm, the "adults in the room" — to unravel this mess, make it secure, scalable, and maintainable without breaking everything users depend on.

First thing we did? Lock down access. No one’s logging in with admin123 on our watch.

Then we had to reverse engineer the logic. Every page had a side quest. Every fix revealed three more “mysteries” like a haunted ColdFusion escape room.

We Do It Right, Even If It Hurts

We brought in:

  • ColdBox, because frameworks are not optional in the 21st century.

  • Git, CI/CD pipelines, and actual deployment practices.

  • Scheduled code reviews, peer programming, and a real QA process.

  • A roadmap. With milestones. And estimates. Imagine that.

Lessons from the Cleanup Crew

  1. Technical debt is real, and someone will have to pay it.

  2. “Fast and cheap” always turns into “slow and expensive.”

  3. If you're building anything that's going to be around for a while, document your process like someone else will have to maintain it—because they will.

Final Thoughts from Your Friendly Neighborhood Curmudgeon

Listen, I love ColdFusion. But when someone uses it like a pile of PHP from 1998, I get twitchy. Migrating legacy systems is never fun, but watching clients finally see stability, transparency, and progress is worth the scars.

Just… don’t be that guy. If you're the only developer on a project, that's not an excuse—it's a responsibility.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to refactor a cfquery inside a cfloop that writes to a text file and emails it to someone’s AOL inbox.

Tired of cleaning up someone else's ColdFusion chaos? We should talk. 

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